31st January

I wish there is one day where I am sitting in front of the beach at night, make a small campfire besides me, listening to the sea and wave, read a book till morning and wait for the sunrise.



p/s: This is a shout-out to my youngest brother, Happy Birthday Adik! Be a good head-boy (like your sister) and may you get 5A in UPSR this year. And please limit all your computer games, PSP, and Ipad stuffs. May Allah bless you. ^^

Random-talks

Bismillah.

Yesterday I made one post in fb about my dissatisfaction on how a person commented on me on a piece of junk paper, and you know what I am not the only person who got 'the sumpah-tak-boleh-blah comments'. There were few other members as well who also got that terribly-not-well-organise-harsh comments. Well said girl, you are so brave. I mean, if you have guts to comment like that on paper, I am sure you have no probs on talking one on one will ya? But no, I am not going to make a chaos out of this. Really, people are not as nice as they look like. The person who wrote 'it' might be the person who once sat beside me in Chemistry class. I am not pointing my finger to anybody, just saying. Only Allah knows.

Well well well,

I hate repaying hatred. So lets move on. As I attended Czech Republic medical school talk, I noticed that Czech wasn't bad after all. And the living cost there is not as high as Uk, like daaahhhh.... Only few who turned up at the talk, but I am getting a good insights through their briefings. But of course, I am crossing my fingers to Ireland, if the God permits.

My conversation with Abah was always interesting. My Abah is a kind of man who is very fond of gadgets. I called Abah just now, and guess what, he has had a new Iphone 5. Jealous. Haha. Well-updated Abah. And I am just like a mak nenek babbling through the phone, "Ya Allah, bukea ko ado doh handpon, beli pulok wak gaponyo? Eeee,,, banyok pitih weh datuk ni..." And the rest was history. And one sad news was, I called home and my Umi just went to Langkawi for 4-days meeting and next week I will return home for chinese-new-year break but unfortunately my parents will off to Labuan. I is sad. haha..

Till then folks, 

I have to study. Chem and Maths. Tests are on Friday. Bye.

Considerate

Bismillah

Sometimes when I wrote post on my blog, I always think of what will the readers react when they read my blog if I wrote badly about anyone specific. That is not so nice rite? 

Then, I am thinking of how can anyone put such harsh words on somebody when you know that the 'letter' will be sent to the person?

It is just unbelievable. I mean, come on Syifa, this is reality, there are many types of people. Some can be expressive, some can be very proper and kind.

And the one kind of letter that I received from '**' evaluation feedback, was not so nice. And it was even more saddening when I knew the person who wrote the letter is one of my friends (.. I think so)  I mean come on (again), do you think people will not notice it's your handwriting?

Well, I live in a mannered-family. And although I grew up knowing there are lots of different attitudes of human in high school, in this case, you just being impolite. How ashamed. I did agree to the written points given to me, but somehow, can you at least be more considerate? Pick the more gentle words yet still delivering the message, is that so hard? I am sad. Sad. Sad.

And please, if you do not know a person, don't judge. Just say, I do not know much about you. That's all.

Or else, you will be punish for making fitnah and creating stories. 

Pardon my emotional post.

Grow up

Bismillah.

Sometimes I felt stupid when I get mad or "tercuit' over a small thing. Because I do not always behave like that but when I do, something has really come up. And it was very funny how to act when you want people notice the change in your behavior. Dang. *pinky cheek* Grow up weh, grow up.

But one good thing about me, when I get mad, it is not last for too long. Probably today, if I get mad over someone, tomorrow I am okay with it. The probability is 95% well if you are my kawan. Just let me sleep people. And everything will recover to my full HP up.  I always hope that nobody will ever make a big deal of my stupidity and turn up at my room to apologize. I feel more and more embarrassed about my behavior.

Selepas tu mesti fikir, "Apa aku dah buat tadi... Bodohnya bodohnya..."

Do you feel cold and lost in desperation? 
You build up hope, but failures all you've known. 
Remember all the sadness and frustration
And let it go. 
Let it go.

And in a burst of light that blinded every angel 
As if the sky had blown the heavens into stars
You felt the gravity of tempered grace
Falling into empty space 
With no one there to catch you in their arms.

But at least I do not get too carried away over emotions. It just don't suit me. Huh. Syifa is not a girlish, 'tacing-tacing' and  'sulking-sulking' kinda girl. Rosak coolness. Sumpah rosak.

Forgive and forget. I choose to forgive.

P/s: Someone had grabbed away my respect. For so long, I 'd always look up to X. Somehow X was not as ''good'' as I thought. Well, X had shown her true color. Irritating and judgmental.

Germany Couplet

Bismillah.

There are lots of good news in the air for couple of these days.

One of them is we will have our four days holiday! Yeay. Hope to use em wisely.

Second, my girlfriends and I are going to chase the train to KL tomorrow.

Third, I printed out past years paper for Chem p4 already! Oh la la.

And the last one is,

Ajje and Jebo had passed their A-level with flying colors! And they will be flying off to Germany this March insyaAllah. ^^ Hurrah for them. They worked really hard for this day. I am so happy and excited.

Now that I noticed, one of the 'what can make me happy' things is heard about your friends are succeed in whatever they are doing right now.

Praise to Almighty God,

Tahniah Ajje and Jebo.

Beloved classmates.

Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah

I finally finished for both of my medical school interviews. 

Uni of Liverpool and Uni College Cork.

I can't say much about it.

I had made my best and pray for the very best outcome.

All the experiences are different in their own way. 

They are not even the same as the mock interviews that I had before.

I received such an unbearable views from my reference writer, Mr Vroege during my mock interview with him as I can't answer properly to his question about immunity and vaccination.

But medium-pitch applause to my mock with Mr Tony Finch, although I felt like some lacking in my answers but still he graded me amazingly, well. Or was he being just nice? I don't know but he was really kind and interesting man to talk to.

My third mock with my former psychology teacher Mrs Beadsworth whom before I rated her as a serious, sometimes sarcastic teacher. But during my mock with her Alhamdulillah, my answers caught her attention, because her question was more into 'this and that situation and how you deal with it'. Psychology helped, although just for As. And what make me even happier was, she said, "If I am the interviewer for Liverpool Uni, I will glad to take you in". Yes I know, it was only a mock interview, but it did bring me on the cloud nine.

Conclusion, I do not know what to feel... 

And at the end of the day, one thing for sure, I have faith in Allah.

Regardless everything that had happened, I am going to start studying.

He knows BEST.

Kak Zahra once wrote on my notebook, 

"Have Faith in Allah."

Kak Azie always keep myself reminded of,

"Diantara keberhasilan pada akhir perjuangan adalah berserah diri kepada Allah sejak permulaan"

ibnu Ata'illah

And the wall message that I got from kak Tipah this morning,

"Hasbunallah wa nikmal wakeel"

Cukuplah Allah menjadi Penolong kami dan Allah adalah sebaik-baik pelindung.

Alhamdullillah. 

Listen Kids

Status: I am staying up late.

Music: Fix You by Coldplay

If I would have children probably 7 years later, insyAllah,  I would make sure that they will have milk for their breakfast everyday and some light healthy food for the morning meal. And milk again before they are going to sleep.

Children, if you know what can osteoporosis do to you, you will forever thanking me for my command. Well, prevention is better than cure. As I only start at 20. Anyhow, at least I am starting.

My father always being the greatest dad in the world. Reminiscing old days, I was awakened by him as early as 6 and after I finished dressing up to school, there will be no days without a hot cup of milo and half-boiled eggs on the dining table. Yes kids, your grandad is superbly awesome. 

Well, I change the menu a little bit. No substitution, MILK it is.

Sincerely,

your beloved mummy

Setia

Overdosed.

Yesterday, I was on my bed at 6.20 pm. Already fully-proper-dressed to Dining Hall on 6.40. But while waiting for the dinner, I read my Bio notes. And I kept staring at my watch so that I won't be late. Unfortunately the time seemed very slow and I doubted every time I looked at my watch, the needles didn't seem to move..... WAIT, the needles did not move. I looked at my phone and it showed 6.50 pm already. I took my tudung and quickly went out from the chalet to Dh. Then I saw, Yana and Nani were running in front of me. At that time, I knew that I was very late. 

I arrived at the DH just right after Yana did. We took our trays with chicken chop and sat together at the same table. Nampak sopan but we actually makan dengan cepatnya. Tak terasa pon chicken chop yang enak itu singgah di anak tekak. Yes, we were so determined. A new record it was, I finished eating after 5 minutes more less. Then, we ran again. 

Final destination: TV Room

Channel: tv3

SetiaHujungNyawa

So did we, setia setiap hari.

hahahaha

Choices

I have to choose whether to go to Hijab workshop in the evening or Talk about "the turning point" by Catriona Ross and Brother Adam, a muallaf during the night. And although how much I want to attend both, but in the end I only have to choose one. The talk.

It is like my current situation which is I already have 39 out of 50. And to get 80, I need 41 out of the second 50. For the very beginning I am very sure 41 is in my hand. But when I counted exactly the value, 41 is equal to 100 out of 125 overall. I need to get hundred. Hundred. And then, I started to panic. What should I do? I hope Allah will show me the way. Tonight. Istikharah. 

I do not hope for you to understand. But, in the meantime, I really learn the value of choices. A choice can change the whole life. Whether it is a yes or no.

Please, Ya Allah. Bless me. 

Flowers and Thorns

Bismilah

Less than one month before the handover.

Thank you for being a part of my journey in Ky.

The ohsem Muslimah. Strive to Jannah. InsyaAllah.

Pool and Liver

Interviewer: This is the end of our interview. If you have any questions, please do ask. But certainly we would not record this.

Me: Err.,, I wonder why is it Liverpool? Was the person who found this place was enjoying a pool full of livers in front of his sight?

Damn. Why am I not asking this brilliant question.

Reaching Happiness

May Allah bless me with my path.. 

Fly high Eza

Music:  Unholy Confessions by Avenged Sevenfold

Status: We'll see if I am going to sleep tonight. Btw, I have class at eight, a mock interview at 11.15 and a photoshoot at 12.40. Yes, I pretend to be a busy girl all the time.

Anyway, guess what, it is a hikmah, usually I will be going out for a jog with my dearest Nab and Jida outside the Ky at 6pm., but I skip it for today. And what I got in return was a phone call from my best friend, Eza!! She called me at 6.10 pm. I was so excited.

She read my blog recently where I posted that she will be flying to Aussie this February. But I mentioned the wrong unis, which were Adelaide and NUA. So, she called to corrected me, LOL, she will become a degree student taking Accounting at  University of Queensland.!! Eza, thousands of congrats. I am so happy for you.. *I am a proud dorm-mate

Well, from what she said, I might not be able to send her at KLIA due to my hectic-semester-4-KY-schedule. How I want to send her during the departure badly. I am hoping to able to attend her doa selamat, at Kota Bharu by the time Ky is on the chinese-new-year-break. InsyaAllah..

Dear Ejaa yang dikasihi sepenuh hati,

Alhamdulillah. I am very happy on your accomplishment. You are a smart girl although you always sleep early and I always forever jealous of that. haha. But anyhow, I wish you every success and happiness in your new chapter of life. Enjoy the ride at the Uni and we'll skype very often okay! Love you.

Regards,

Greatest and awesome pal that you will never ever find anybody like me,

Syifa.

p/s: I bought you departure-hadiah. If you want it, make sure claim it before FLY! hehe..

We're in this together

Selamat

Status: Dats it, sebulan duduk rumah,bukan study yang makin banyak, makan jer banyak, pastu tengok tv. HAH. Nampak keburukan duduk kat rumah di situ? (salah aq jer pon sebenarnya)

Diet. Tempoh masa 6 bulan. *more or less haha

Alhamdulillah, habis sudah kelas pertama di semester keempat. Kejap. Sumpah kejap. Pergi kelas, balik kelas, dah malam. This six months are not going to be long. Nak habis dah Syifa. Nasib baik semua kelas hari ini terasa macam ada 'drive' and lepas balik kelas, the feeling is not "ah, it's over for today" but "I have to do more before tomorrow". Dan dengan keizinan Allah, moga-moga perasaan semangat nak study itu kekal setia sehingga hujung nyawa. 

Pagi tadi seperti biasa, terserempak jer budak Medic, senyap-senyap tanya, "Dapat interview kat mana?" Bukan apa, hanya medics yang mengenal medics. Eh. It is not just about you, it is about us. Tadi, bila dengar kawan dapat 3 offers interview from ucas tambah plak dengan Eire, happy tu macam aq pulak yang dapat, betol tak tipu. Semoga kami dapat buat yang terbaik untuk interview nanti. Tapi lain pula bila dengar rakan yang until now, no news heard. Kalau duduk dengan mereka lama-lama, aq menangis kot. Maaf, emosi aq sejak buat A-level Medic ni semakin sensitif dan hormon pun tak stabil. What can I said to them is, "InsyaAllah, ada rezeki nanti dapat jugak tu, don't give up". Eh terasa macam cakap pada diri sendiri. 

Takut. Cuak. Biasa la tu. Bila teringatkan senior-senior tahun lepas, betapa kuatnya mereka. Even, ada yang dapat offer sewaktu exam A-level. And ada jugak yang dapat placement selepas results. Sabar, sabar, sabar. Allah itu Maha Pemurah. Study hard is not enough, you have to pray hard as well. 

Surah Ghafir [40:17]

Sahih International

This Day every soul will be recompensed for what it earned. No injustice today! Indeed, Allah is swift in account.

Malay

"Pada hari ini, tiap-tiap diri dibalas dengan apa yang telah diusahakannya; tidak ada hukuman yang tidak adil pada hari ini. Sesungguhnya Allah amat cepat hitungan hisabNya.

Bismillah..

"Ya Allah, engkau permudahkanlah urusan pelajar-pelajar perubatan batch 14. Semoga kami semua mendapat yang terbaik.."

Tolong aminkan yer.

Study! Study! Study!

Always a daughter

Bismillah..

Umi, Abah, this is for you. I'm gonna make both of you proud. They are my forever biggest fan, I will not let you down. I promise. *sedih

Dah sampai Ky dah pun. InsyaAllah,

a journey of thousand miles begin with a single step.

Rabbi yassir

wala tu'assir

rabbi tammin

bi khair

This journey, lillah hi taala

Pray for me. =')

The MOST Knowing

Bismillah..

"Dikala ku jatuh ku bangkit kerna Mu, ku tahu ku adaMU disisiku selalu, bantulah hambaMu mencari keredhaanMu"

Macam kena. I am weak without Him.

Esok balik Ky weh! Still preparation for my interview is progressing. I pray for everything will happen smoothly.. Cuak. 

Sabar, sabar, sabar..

Allah maha mengetahui.

I thought I am the only one yang bagai cacing kepanasan (maksudnya tak senang duduk kan?)

while my friends with other courses got their dreamed unis already, we, the medics pray hard for at least an interview offer. It is fated and rezeki, those who want Cardiff got Liverpool, those who crave badly for Belfast got Liverpool and Cardiff, those who PBL-lover and hoping for Liverpool got Cardiff and Belfast instead. And, the one who wants Ireland badly, do not make it for shortlisted IUMC but do get Cardiff.

See? We'll never know. HE is the Most Knowing, He give His slaves the thing that we need not the thing that we want.. But sometimes, we do get things that we want, if He permits..

Ya Allah, aku rebah dalam ketentuanMu. Ku mohon petunjuk dariMu Ya Allah...

Holidays OVER. Let's get back to business..

Pure Heart

Salam

Two more days before returning to Ky!

I am so afraid. Afraid of the 'comeback' of the upside-down of my days and nights.

I keep reminding myself for this. This is the fourth sem! No turnback.

I must really really work hard for this. Two years in Ky should give me a gift which I would treasure for the rest of my life. I am praying for this.

Bismillah, bismillah, bismillah.

\

(need strength, need strength)

Ya Allah, bantulah HambaMu ini mencari keredhaanMU...

Kuatkanlah hati aku untuk belajar bersungguh-sungguh untuk menempah tempat di syurga Mu di akhirat sana. Amin ya rabbal alami....

Barang-barang nak bawak balik Ky sumpah banyak gila

Hah acaner neh?

P/s: Ter'addicted' dengan drama Setia Hujung Nyawa kat tv3. Sdeyh.... Hopefully wifi in my room is fast enough to let me qada' watching it in the middle of the night on tonton.com.

Legend

Salam. 

I slept at 4 am last night and I have to wake up early to hantar my sis at Terminal Bas Tesco KB in the morning for her PLKN. Its raining cats and dogs, and I felt very reluctant to take my shower. But I succeeded. Eheh.

All set, we, umi, kakcik and I went to the registration tent while abah went to park his car. 

Nak dijadikan cerita, I saw some familiar faces there. My juniors from Faris Petra were there too. I do not remember some of their names. But I knew that I met Amnan Syarfi, Amzar Zafran, Asyraf Nawi, Syairah Izzati and lain-lain.. Hah aku ingat nama penuh lagi.

And so nice of them to actually still called me Kak Syifa.

It has been very long time since I heard it back then when I was in form 5.

Mene: Eh, Kak Syifa! Hantar sapo?

Kak Syifa: Hantar adik. Bulih mano?

Mene: Bulih Marang. (well, I think I heard him right hopefully) Adik Kak Syifa?

Kak Syifa: Kemaman. =)

Meja: Kak Syifa!!! (sambil tabik) Guano baru nak gi PLKN tahun ni?

Kak Syifa: Haishhh. hantar adik jah.

Meja: hahaha

And, I met again this guy and his father who were in the same travel group with me when I was in Vietnam. They  remembered me. And what made me shocked was that guy was the same age as my lil sis ( like obviously,, he went to PLKN). huh. I thought he was 20 something before. hahaha... Tertipu dek ketinggian beliau yang luar biasa. And he also thought me who are going to PLKN. Heh, I am twenty nineteen years and eleven months old okay. Well, seeing the juniors whom I left Faris Petra were in form 3 before and now they were high-school-graduates already making me feel, Yes, I am old.

But the moral value is I am a good senior. Legend kowt. 

Kak Syifa, Vice house-capt Hussein house.

Prefect and making lots of chaos. If you knew...

(entri terlebih perasan)

#throwback #goodolddays

Ky's wishlists

Salam

Tomorrow my lil sis will be going to PLKN in Kemaman. I am sad. I have no partner in crime to bangun lambat together, play wedding dash and tanding saper cepat naik stage, partner to cook when our umi asks us to do so and etc. Well, for my part I have another remaining four days at home then I'm off to Ky for my final semester. 

Ni la KY. Dalam mimpi aq.

So, for the fourth sem, here are my wishlists for my days in Ky

1. To enjoy the morning breeze at gazebo after Subuh

2. To play with the pancuran air on the field in the morning

3. Open my room window and do not sleep for all night, enjoying the night scenery esp during full moon

4. To share a thought during majlis fikir

5. Cycling to the abandoned houses and take pictures in Lembah Beringin

6. Learn how to cast-off for my knitting project

7. Drink lot of plain water

8. Accomplish my DOE project

9. Play squash

10. Langgan Astro First/Best sekerap yang boleh (ha ha ha)

11. Secretly carve my name in one place that I treasure the most

12. To donate a thing that can benefits me to the surau as saad

13. To hug my friends and thank them

14. Graduate from Ky with a happy heart.

Finally, just to keep my chin up!

“dan terkadang, tanpa kita mohon pun,

DIA menutup keaiban kita.

sehingga manusia melihat kebaikkan demi kebaikkan kita,

pujian dan pandangan yang membuat kita malu sendiri.

maka bagaimana masih sanggup kita berprasangka,

bahawa DIA tidak menyayangi dan peduli ?

Rahmat dan Kasih Sayang-NYA itu terkadang

tidak tersembunyi,

cuma kita yang tidak menyedari.”

Therefore, remember HIM always. HE will always accompany me.

Aja aja fighting! Ceh, buruk benor bahasa korea aku.

Ganbatte Kudasai!

Sayonara 2012

If I have to say it, 2012 was  probably the most toughest year of my life. 

I remember every single day that I had to wake up and felt sad for the rest of the day.

I will mostly want to keep all of those away from me. Lock them in one box and throw it into somewhere in Artic ocean. We'll never going to meet again. 

Only think about it made me sad. However., I definitely learnt a lot throughout the year. Alhamdulillah, for the lesson the I learnt I become a better person.

2013.

Be nice to me. 

I hate to live in sadness.

I hope this year will be the best year so far for my entire life.

I am after one thing, TO FLY.

Bismillah.

Perbaharui niat, perbaharui azam.

~Semakin rajin

~Jadi hamba Allah yang lebih baik

~Graduate from Ky dengan bergaya

~Result A-level dengan warna-warna berterbangan

~Nak jadi anak yang solehah

~Nak FLY

Amin Amin Amin

February nanti bakal menginjak umur 20-an. No more teen-ages . Its time to change my attitude towards maturity. Udah udah laa dengan perangai ko yang budak-budak tu. Allah, guide me the way please..