18 Ramadan

Smile =')

No matter how hard it will going to be, I know I always have these wonderful, lovely people around me.

Thank you Allah. Alhamdulillah..

"Jika hidup ini semuanya senang jer, straight tak de bengkok-bengkok, bukan perjalanan namanya. Itu dah jadi statik.. Setiap perkara ajar kita sesuatu ilmu. Kalau hari ini dah matang, esok insyaallah makin matang.."

~Anonymous~

Chaiyok Syifa chaiyokk!

May Allah bless ^^

A single step

Status: Just finished watching 'Wake Up Sid'

Music: "wake up Syifa"

Life is a journey. Journey means that you are either walking or running. Non-stop, because when you stop, that would be the end of your journey. Along the journey, you left your footsteps behind. The footsteps became a sign or a proof that you already had passed through the path. It is good to look at it sometimes as in it becomes a reminder but certainly not good enough for you to obsess with what you had accomplished. 

"Learn and keep on learning."

Subhanallah. The world is so beautiful and beautiful is very subjective. People can describe beauty in term of the scenery, the people, the creatures, the food, the street-arts, the ocean and yet everything. But what is so special about the word 'beauty' is the way you imagine it in your mind. 

"Mind is the most devious, rebellious part that we all possess."

What is so beautiful about the world from my view?

Chances and opportunities

Yeah, SPM is a 'pisang-goreng panas' issue for today and I can assure that it will continue becoming a 'hot' topic for the rest of this week. But I would not talk about it of-course. "Result aq xder laa gempak maner pon jika dibanding dengan hadek-hadek zaman millenium skang neh". Enough, SPM was a nice-written, certified history by MOE, and to think about it, how are we who once a spm candidate, so stressed answering questions then circling the right answers, wrote a long, 'vocab-gempak', 'berkajang-kajang' essays during the examination. Masihkah kau ingat?

Back to topic.

We all said that "I have faith in Allah". But do we really, I mean really visualize on what we claim as our faith. Again, faith is a huge word. We tend to say something that we know but unfortunately we do not understand enough. 'Know' and 'understand'. They give different meanings. Don't get me wrong here. They both are equally important. We are not able to understand if we do not know. They are intertwining. 

Chances and opportunities. They are not free, they are not luck. They are rezeki. Rezeki do not always come with just prayer, they require hardships. By hardships, sacrifices are included. Therefore, prayer intertwines with hardships leads to chances, opportunities (if only if Allah permits). Hypothesis accepted.

"Yeah, yeah,, I already know about this. C'mon everyone know about this. Since when do you give lectures?"

Am sorry, what I had written is basically for me, myself. If I enthusiastically give lectures, it is for me. Because, I am a forgetful girl. Always repeat the same mistakes. Mistakes are not meant to be repeated, because each of them only happen once. If you are doing the same thing over and over and over again, it is not a mistake. Is is a habit. BAD HABIT. So, where is the lesson? *slapped

I personally am so afraid with tests, just give me any test, for sure I will started to cringe or worse crying inside. Questions will pop out of my mind. Why and why. During that moment, rational is no longer I am. Does a slave deserves to question her Master? The answer is I, again, forget that I am actually a slave. To who? You know who.

Clarification, thankful, grateful is the most important. Alhamdulillah. 

We may forget to say it, but don't forget to 'feel' it.

Hadirkan diri sebagai hamba. Hamba kepadaNya. Bukan hamba kepada keadaan mahupun dunia.

Takbir Allahuakbar!

The promise

Status: Homework. Math test tomorrow. *fainted

Location: GH. (Great Hall) Minggu Citra Budaya night.

Si A, to be pronounced as Si A not CA. Si A is  a chinese guy in one of my classes at Ky.

Si A: Err, hello there, hye can you please pass me the camp(camera).

(He was sitting in front of me during the prize-giving ceremony and the camera was right beside me)

Me: Oh, here you go.

Si A: Thank you so much. (pause.......)  Are you the girl in my **** class? We are in the same class right?

Me: Yup, two classes actually.

Si A: Really? How come I didn't notice you at all. Oww, so you do talk?

Me: I do. I talk everyday.

Si A: But why you are so invincible? I don't think my friends will recognize you either. You should talk more laa. (He used as friendly tone as possible) 

Me: I am fine. Thank you. ^^

.........................................................................................................................

I was alone in my chalet. After Zohor, I found this. 

(14:21)

Sahih International

And they will come out [for judgement] before Allah all together, and the weak will say to those who were arrogant, "Indeed, we were your followers, so can you avail us anything against the punishment of Allah ?" They will say, "If Allah had guided us, we would have guided you. It is all the same for us whether we show intolerance or are patient: there is for us no place of escape."

Malay

Dan mereka sekalian tetap akan berhimpun mengadap Allah (untuk dihisab pada hari kiamat); kemudian orang-orang yang lemah (yang menjadi pengikut) kepada orang-orang yang sombong takbur itu akan berkata kepada mereka (yang menjadi pemimpinnya): "Sesungguhnya kami telah menjadi pengikut kamu; maka adakah kamu dapat menolak daripada kami sedikit dari azab Allah? " Mereka menjawab: "Kalaulah Allah menunjukkan jalan selamat kepada kami, tentulah kami tunjukkan jalan itu kepada kamu. (Sekarang) sama sahaja kepada kita, sama ada kita menggelisah dan mengeluh atau kita bersabar, tiadalah sebarang jalan bagi kita untuk melepaskan diri (dari azab itu)".

And even the satan will say this to you.

(14:22)

Sahih International

And Satan will say when the matter has been concluded, "Indeed, Allah had promised you the promise of truth. And I promised you, but I betrayed you. But I had no authority over you except that I invited you, and you responded to me. So do not blame me; but blame yourselves. I cannot be called to your aid, nor can you be called to my aid. Indeed, I deny your association of me [with Allah ] before. Indeed, for the wrongdoers is a painful punishment."

Malay

Dan berkatalah pula Syaitan setelah selesai perkara itu: "Sesungguhnya Allah telah menjanjikan kamu dengan janji yang benar dan aku telah menjanjikan kamu lalu aku mungkiri janjiku itu kepada kamu; dan tiadalah bagiku sebarang alasan dan kuasa mempengaruhi kamu selain daripada aku telah mengajak kamu lalu kamu terburu-buru menurut ajakanku itu; maka janganlah kamu salahkan daku tetapi salahkan diri kamu sendiri. Aku tidak dapat menyelamatkan kamu dan kamu juga tidak dapat menyelamatkan daku. Sesungguhnya dari dahulu lagi aku telah kufur ingkarkan (perintah Tuhan) yang kamu sekutukan daku denganNya". Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang zalim (yang meletakkan sesuatu pada bukan tempatnya) beroleh azab yang tidak terperi sakitnya.

Are you a leader? Are you a follower? That doesn't matter because you are the one who will suffer from all of you wrongdoing, misbehavior and sins. The leader will be punish if he lead his community to the wrong path. The follower will be punish for choosing and electing a bad, devious leader. It is a matter of fact, punishment for the  wrong choices. So, Every time you want to make a decision, think wisely! 

No one will help you upon those sins that you commit for, except for 'syafaat' from our beloved Prophet pbuh. So why wait? Do selawat for him everyday as he will help us because we are his ummah. Amin, Amin, Amin. 

Rasulullah pbuh had made the promise right? And have faith that he will never ever let us down. Never.

 If, if, if we first do no let him down.

Jom selawat banyak-banyak! ^^


p/s: The ayats are from surah 'Ibrahim.

A Rebel Yell

He said that I would make lots of great friends.
I said never. I am not an amiable kid.

He said that I would love and care so much about the team.

I said not in this world. I hate the team. What they only did were criticizing.

He said that I would have the best senior years.

I said you'd got to be kidding me? Who are going to take care of me when I am a senior?

He said that I would be damn so sad once I had to step out of the place.

I said could there be any joyous moment than that day?

He said you'll be fine.

I said I will never be. I am alone.

Life was unexpected. Those words that came out from the 'I' were totally contradicting from the beginning. Now, this was the 'I' answers.

I made lots of great friends, who were worth more than diamonds. How could I not see them before. They were always right beside me. They were the one who taught me life. They wished me for my happiness. They are the ones that I didn't want to be replaced apart from anything in this world. 

The team. Could there be any team that are better that my team, if were not for them, I wouldn't learn the value of teamwork. There are some of them who shed my tears when I felt like a loser. They heard my stories, they respect my opinions. They accepted me the way I am in the team. The gave me credit for my capabilities.

Senior years. Never in my life I'd imagined that my senior years were so colorful. I still can reminisce the days that I had with all my classmates. We developed the bond, very strong bond, even stronger that the covalent bond in the diamond. We loved each other, so much. Should us be blame for that? 

Leaving the place was the most painful, broken-hearted thing that I ever did in my life. How I love the place, every single spot in the place gave me the flashbacks of the day that I learnt, that I laughed, I cried, I lost faiths in myself. Those were the things that never escaped from my brain-memory. They remained, I wont let them leave.

See? Did you noticed how much I worked hard to survive. The only reason for my pathetic reasons in the beginning were I doubted myself because 'he' got in the way. 'he' was the mist that I could not see the humungous tunnel for me to walk in. It was my fault for involving myself into 'he'. And 'he' was an inexplicable humility. Blame myself for being that weak.

But today and afterwards, I have HIM. Always HIM. HE will never leave me behind. Did I said 'never'? I mean never ever... 

I serve  myself for ISLAM. Don't beg me to give my heart to you. Because HE holds my heart so tight that even I can't help to escape myself from HIM. Alhamdulillah.

Preserve me with your mercy ya ALLAH.

Return to HIM

Memang ada waktu,
kamu akan melihat seperti Allah tidak menghiraukanmu.
engkau kecewa.
Ingin meninggalkanNya.
Seakan-akan engkau merasa, engkau sahajalah yang diperlakukan sedemikian rupa.

Jangan. Aku juga demikian sebenarnya.
Tetapi aku kekal percaya.
Kerna kehidupan ini ada dua.
Kalau bukan di dunia kita memperolehi apa yang kita hajati,
di akhirat sana adalah pasti.

Tuhan tidak kurang apa-apa dengan engkau meninggalkanNya.
Tetapi engkau hilang segala-galanya apabila berjarakan denganNya.
Hamba. Menangislah. Berteriaklah.
Kemudian kembalilah.
Sujudlah.
Sabar,
dan percayalah.

"Ya Allah, ampunilah aku. Bimbinglah aku. Aku hamba-Mu, Engkau penciptaku. Hanya kepada-Mu aku menyembah dan memohon pertolongan...."

Muslim Youth Camp 2011

Bertempat di Kuala Kubu Baru, kem Bina Semangat =)

Muscom annual activity

Modul director: Ariff Ismail

Layan gambo dulu ek, nanti I explain wat was this camp all about.

Presenting.....

dalam hall semasa nak buat kuih melaka =)

Bersama-sama teammates tngah berusaha menguli buah melaka...
orang Kelate call'em as ONDE-ONDE

Kami amat bertungkus lumus taw!
tapi sempat gak posing disitu =D

Forum dari super seniors dan turut ada juga, Ustaz Nizam

Kami kene naik benda alah yang tinggi di taw.

Dan ada gak aktiviti ngan tali tarzan ni... hahaha~

Ustaz MARi MENGAJI kat TV9 tu pon ade gak sebagai
penceramah jemputan

Brother Syah Kirit, one brilliant muallaf who knows
and expert in Islam. More than an original muslim
would be.

My group. We love each other.

Okay dear readers, time for explanation,, What was this camp all about? MYC.. The objective of this camp was mainly about to keep your faith in Islam, to learn the beautiful of Islam, to muhasabah whether are you a good muslim or not, to strengthen the ukhwah between all of us, KYUEMians.

What  I got in this camp:

I learnt a lot. I always felt that I am lacking of ilmu, especially about Islam. Since I was in Faris Petra, I was eager to learn how to be a better muslim. I aim for jannah, always would be. I want to be a muslim by choice not by chance. But I don't know why. As time passes, alhamdulillah, Allah heard my prayers. He made it easy for me, as I left boarding school, I was sent to Ky, which  had being a wonderful place for me to study, discover Islam. This MYC thing is one of them. Semua orang pon boleh joined MYC dan tak semestinya bebudak alim, budak surau jer. Because we were there to learn, as long as you have the 'niat' to learn, to understand your faith, it was alright. If you asked me anything pasal Islam, I would say that all I want to find is the mardhatillah, keredhaan Allah. Other than that, I am still in the process of learning. I was not from the 'sekolah agama' ke anak ustaz ke... But I was glad that Allah chose me to be one of His slaves. Alhamdulillah.

Overall, I would like to thank everyone, budak2 KY yang joined this camp, facilitators, Kak KD yang mula2 ajak I joined this camp. Terima kasih daun keladi, panjang umur I nak join MYC lagi. =)

para muslimat =)

Sekian.. Wassalam.

CINTAILAH ILAHI

Ujian Budak A-level

Status: 24 Ramadan.. Sad :(

Day after day, kesabaran makin teruji manantikan hari Sabtu yang bakal berkunjung tiba.. (Balikkkk Kelantannnnnn!!!!) 

Dear Syifa,

Kenapa penat? Bukan ke dulu kemain ko nak belajar medic? tak ke? tak ke? Baru Cambridge A-level jer kowt.... Pehal ko gelabah semacam? (bunyi bajetnyer terer gler kowt CIE).. Sabar, even Fatimah mengadu penat kat Rasulullah pon, Rasulullah suruh sebutkan 'Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar'... Apatah lagi kan ko? Don't feel like  you have it enough... This is only the beginning derrr... Say bismillah....

Tu lah manusia, kter tak lari dari rser give up... Istighfar.... Penat-penat jer SPM, interview bagai klu dahh sket pon rser leteyh.. Sabar yer =)

Kak Ajah:

"Ingat, kita adalah hamba Allah, jangan pernah persoalkan kenapa Allah uji kita begini.. Sebab tugas seorang hamba adalah untuk mengikut semua arahan Majikannya"

Aisyah Hani:

"You choose medic rite? So why complain on science? It's your job to find the way of studying. Don't be afraid of 'try and error' concept. Once you'll find you own way of studying, just stick on it."

Zameer Eizaaz:

"Syurga itu adalah untuk orang hebat-hebat dan bukan untuk orang yang biasa-biasa. Mujahadah itu pahit kerana syurga itu manis."

Kak Adah:

"Berubah itu susah, ambil masa. Jika dulu kita tahu sahaja, sekarang kita dah tahu dan faham. Be strong, insyaAllah dipermudahkan."

Hijaz Adenan: 

"Jom jadi scholar terbaik untuk Kolej Yayasan Ramadan!"

Sometimes few sentences can make us think big. I am on my way of finding Him. I want to change. Setinggi mana pon darjat kita di dunia, kalau hati terasa kosong tak kemana... Kenapa Allah bagi kita 24 hours and not 25, 27 hours semua tu? Dia Maha Mengetahui.. 

And Allah's command:

Sahih International

And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.

(Adh-Dhariyat 51:56)

New leaf

Kenal daun? Gambar daun lahh nie =)

Tadi mase dop godek-godek stuffs yang nak bawak ke kolej, tiba-tiba 'pop out' aper dahh bacaan for sujud sahwi? Dah lama dah tak buat sujud sahwi. Alhamdulillah,, semoga bertambah khusyuk lahh yer ibadat. Subhanallah. But wat's the ayat once again? Then I remember, teros jer I konfimkan kat internet. =)

سُبْحَانَ مَنْ لَا يَنَامُ وَلَا يَسْهُوْ

~ Maha suci Allah yang Tidak Tidur dan Tidak Lupa~

 And yup! That's the ayat! Alhamdulillah.. 

Oh ya, Sujud Sahwi adalah sujud dua kali yang dilakukan selepas atau sebelum salam kerana terlupa/tertinggal  dalam solat.

"A man who decided to change on twelve hour dies on eleventh hour" 

Penah dengar quote ni kan? I wonder.. Coz selalu jer dengar orang cakap,"Hidop ni sementara, enjoy selagi boleh", "Live your life to the fullest", "Masa muda ni lahhh nak enjoy, kang tua nanti taubat lahh"... Seriously, I'd heard all of that. Yes, hidup ni sementara and mati itu pasti. But only a few yang mention pasal mati dalam favourite quotes dorang and whatsoever.. Kalau lahh hari ni enjoy bagai nak rak segala, tapi esok mati (misalnya) tak ke mati katak kite? Tak cukup pun bekal nak bawa mengadap Allah swt. Nauzubillah.. Sedangkan kehidupan akhirat tu lahh yang kekal. Get my point?

I am waiting for the Ramadhan this year. As I was quite disappointed with the one I had last year. My Ramadhan tahon lepas was very very hambar. I was so busy with SPM-studying pada waktu malam, then I tertidow and bangun agak lewat as 6.oo am. *sad... But still alhamdulillah, tadarus went well during the afternoon, walaupon agak kalut ngan prep. Notes: Last year kitorang start tadarus kat masjid pada waktu tgh hari, sebab dah xboleh masuk asrama between the gap zohor and prep. Tak macam zaman muda-mudi form 1,2,3 sumer tu yang tadarus was after Asar.  

Life quite hectic last year. Jadual sumer berubah 180 degree different. Then we had to be in the dining room as early as 6.40 pm because kitorang kene siap kan our table, bubuh lauk, nasik sumer for ntuk berbukak. And yes, hidang menghidang lonih jadi semakin weirdo, we didn't use tray anymore. Even kuih pon kene sorok, sebab ader jer manusia yang suka amik hak orang. Well, budak sekolah laa kan... Notes again: meja prefect pon xder dowh kat dining.

But still, I managed to khatam last year! Thanked Allah. Hopefully to do the same this year. I have no idea how Ramadhan at Ky going to look like, I hope pengisian is more lahh.. 

From cik Hlovate di dalam Contengan Jalanan:

'' Orang yang beriman melihat hari di hadapannya sebagai kesempatan untuk meraih cinta dan redha Allah serta untuk mendapatkan syurga. Untuk itu dia perlu bekerja keras melakukan pekerjaan yang baik. Bagaimanapun sibuknya, dia tetap waspada agar tidak lalai daripada mencari redha Allah. Dia meneladani doa Nabi Sulaiman a.s sebagaimana di riwayatkan dalam ayat ke 19 surah an-Naml, dengan harapan Allah akan memberinya petunjuk dalam kegiatannya sepanjang hari: ".... Ya Tuhanku, berikanlah aku ilham untuk tetap mensyukuri nikmat-Mu yang telah Engkau anugerahkan kepadaku dan kepada kedua ibu bapaku  ,dan untuk mengerjakan amal soleh yang Engkau redhai; dan masukkanlah aku dengan rahmatMu ke dalam golongan hamba-hamba Mu yang soleh"'

(an-Naml:19)

Sahih International

So [Solomon] smiled, amused at her speech, and said, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to do righteousness of which You approve. And admit me by Your mercy into [the ranks of] Your righteous servants."

 Hope for the better, pray for the best, push yourself to the limit. The sun is brighter, and the moon is beautiful, the nature is calming if you look them along the word "Subhanallah"

I am not perfect, but I look for a better me. I welcome anyone who are willing to teach me Islam. =)

Pakar Cinta

About: Ini adelah entry suka suki. Yang maseh hidop sila jangan perasan, ehehehe,, mnakala yang dah tak hidop, anda memang x boleh baca laa kan, (like,,, D-uh)

Melihatkan title above, dah sah2 bukan I laa yang pakar/pro bab lovey dovey neyh. Ohohohoi, klu ditanye bab2 speacialist, I rather choose being gynecologist tak pun pediatrician,, owh wait, neurology pon sounds fun gak! Tapi semua kan like wayyyy to lambat lagi lah yer,, degree pon berkebuk tak masok lagi, inikan dah imagine phd bagai.. But "They say if you dream about something more than once, it's sure to come true- Alice in Wonderland) So, lenkali klu nak tidow, target awal2 nak mimpikan the same thing jer... ahahaha~

Back to the main story

Jangan tiru aksi ini! hehehe

Berapa umur anda? Klu anda berada di dalam umur belasan, itu bermakna anda adalah remaja, teenagers nak kena terangkan ke?.. Grrrr .Selalu jer orang cakap remaja ini macam linkungan test-drive, err bukan kereta yerr. Maksud nyer sume benda pon nak cuba, faham? Nak cuba! Testing2,, haaa, camgitu lah. Nak try smoking lahhh, nak try panjat tangki lah (yg nie segelintir saja yg faham.. ehehe), try makan di kedai mamak, try willy and gaya bebas kat atas motor lahh and watsoever yg sewaktu dengan nya.

 Dan, yang ni masok bahagian dan/and ramai gak yang nak play with the feeling (English yg merapu di ctu).. haha~ Klu korang pegi kat google translate yer akan jadik 'main dengan perasaan'. Faham tak? Alaaa, nak couple, gerek, gewe, gewang, pakwe-memakwe, awek, cowok. Tak faham lagi? Okey, bahasa rock kapaknyer, cintan cekton cintun.

I kat cni meh nak habaq mai, klu Kak Yen's blog  ader mngatakan bliaw tak berehi suka baca blog orang yang selalu bercakap tentang si blogger dan ehem2 nya, that goes the same thing as I am. Amatlahh menyampah! Agak-agak ah, asyik cter mende cenggitu, boring I. Sebenarnya tak elok t'lalu mendedahkan hal peribadi ni. Sket-sket udah laa yer. Be moderate. Jangan heavy metal ngat laa..

A girl is crying for a man. Sebab? Clash, kene dumb, curang and more.. Amat lahh x cocok ye di situ, although, yes, the one who once you love is so damn hard to forget. Betol lahh, sdeyh, tapi jangan laa sampai tak ingat. Be positive, every cloud has its silver lining. Don't be emotional sampai nak commit suicide bagai.,, there are always people who stands behind you no matter how harsh your life would be.. Back to basics, musyawarah balik ngan Allah swt. He always know wat is the best for you =)

Buat aper nak sdeyh for a person yg uolls baru kenal like.. a year? Few months maybe? C'mon, ur mom kenal you since you born wat? Ader korang nak sdeyh2 tringat ur mom, uolls sakit kan ati ur mom sumer, ader korang rser cam gulap gulita hidop korang? Ader? Klu ader Alhamdulillah ^_^. Sesodap oren jer I bagik nsehat kat korang, ahahaha,, then korang simbah I balik, "u xder boyfie, senang ahh cakap camtu, u tak raser ape yang I raser!!" Yang tu ayat drama.. ahaha

Fine, so what if I don't have one.? Eh, hello! Yang uolls rser tu, it is called emotions, and we can control our emotions. Jaga hati dan perasaan sendiri, orang lain xtahu aper yang korang rser. So, the answer of your question, "Memang I tak rser ape yang u rser, then just CHILL, haha" At least I am a better girl, then I have lots of time to spend with my mom and abah. Hargai lah mase anda with your family!

This is from Kak Enin =)

” Cinta manusia itu urusan Dia.
Cintakan Dia itu urusan kita.
Jangan sibukkan diri dengan urusan Dia sedangkan kita gagal menyempurnakan urusan kita. ”

It's true right? The day will come when Allah swt will grant you a life-partner. Just perfect for you. So don't worry, be happy. Tunaikan hak kamu kepada-Nya dan maha suci Allah, Dia tidak pernah melupakan hamba-hamba-Nya yang bertakwa. Stop questioning Him will ya? =)

MUJAHID.. MUJAHADDAH...

ASSALAMUALAIKUM


Aper khabar smuanya?? 
Kekadangkan pernah tak kita terfikir bahawa kita sering sahaja mendapat apa yang kita inginkan.. segala limpah kesenangan dan kesihatan tubuh badan... Meski bukan setiap saat kita memohon kepada-Nya agar diberi kemurahan rezeki.. dan apabila kita mendapat sesuatu yang diingini adakah kita bersujud syukur serta mengucapkan kalimah Alhamdulillah.. Pencoret bercakap mengenai hal ini berdasarkan pengalaman pencoret selama 18 tahun menjadi hamba Allah di atas muka bumi ini... Subhanallah...
I'm not a perfectionist neither an  intelligent person.. I'm just me.. kekadang sedar kekadang lupa...
Throughout my whole journey, since I was kid,, I tend to ramble, do everything although it is not necessary.. I guess by trying something new will shape a better me.. Well, not all of them are wrong.. 


Dear readers,, meh nak cter something..
When I was in primary school, I am a quite active person.. I used to participate in story-telling, academics quiz, camping, all kind of sports ( to be mentioned, lots of them).. No one really knows the reasons why I was so eager joining all of those activities.. And yet, by joining all of the co-curricular activities, I was still perfoming in my academic.. weird huh? Don't ask me why, because I am so not a read-a-lot student.. But I was still aiming for either MRSM or boarding school,, hopefully my secondary school would definitely located outside of Kelantan.. How I wish somehow..


Nak tahu nape pencoret craving for secondary school which is outside Kelantan? and the same reason why I was keeping myself busy with the activities at school? hahaha... It is so funny because I was just twelve at that moment.. Suppose a 'kid' think a lot, well I mean kinda stuff that was so beyond to think of.. Never mind.. Actually, I hate being at home.. The only thing which helps me get through the days, is only TV.. haha,, like d-uhh.. My annoying siblings, and we fought all the times when it comes to "giliran sesaper tengop TV" hahaha.. typical kids.. mende gadoh psal tu.


But when I was accepted to Faris Petra Secondary Science School ( skang dah high perfomance school you, zaman I dulu sempat ngan kluster jer) I learnt a lot of unthink-of stuff.. seriously! Listen korang,, duduk kat boarding school neh, korang akan develops more about self-thinking, independent skills (laa, cam dlm karangan laa) and to anyone yang seeking for improvement of 'ibadat', here is the place.. bla,bla,bla SBP mcam jail laa, cam hapak xleyh bawak henset laa, rules sana sini and whatsoever,, if you guys xleh nak adapt, don't blame the environment laa,, nampak sngat yang korang tu lembik.. ops! sorry ayat ter'over' misbehave.. pardon me,.  To tell the truth kan, pencoret banyak belajar kat sini, tak only for exam-oriented , but on how we can survive despite segala kekurangan.. I am not only talking about my school yer, whenever you go, choose the right path dear.. Life is not that easy, sometimes we have to be demanding! klu korang jenis yang just go on with the flow all of the times, susah kak, abang... I used to be naqibah ( Badan Pelajar Islam), this organization is mainly to give advises, and organise usrah.. to my adik2 yg penah dengar Kak Syifa cakap ( I wont say them as 'ceramah') salah silap, maafkan yer.. Like I said, I am not a perfectionist, but I always seek for self improvement.. always be... 


After being here, I love home so much! and it also makes me appreciate for having such a wonderful family.. penah dengo, missing makes you loving! Pencoret memang sayang ngat kat rumah after five years kat Faris Petra, parents (of course laa), siblings too,, hahaha,, their annoying made me remember every single fighting kat umah... sayang smua adek-beradek ku... owwww....


To recall my journey, I'd never heard somebody personally advise me to take care of my religion,.. I wish taw takk, when somedays there are persons who kindly said.. "Syifa, tolong jaga agama Allah",, kita selalu dapat aper yang kite nak kan? (I mean most of the times) but pernah tak kita berusaha memberi apa yang diperintahkan-Nya? It always so easy to take rather than giving.. okay, okay.. understood! I am still in the middle of learning, understanding, somewhere in between.. Realizing this, yes, I admit without His helps, I am nothing... Usaha memang selalu ade, tapi prayers, tawakkal, faith, are the things yang memang amat diperlukan.. 
we are khalifah dear,, always bear in mind please.. (I am reminding myself as well)

“Dan Kami tidak mengutuskan engkau (Muhammad) melainkan untuk menjadi rahmat bagi seluruh alam.” 

[QS al-Anbiya’, 21:107] 

Jika kita belajar sejauh mana sekali pun,  hati kena ikhlas, insyaAllah dipermudahkan segala urusan.. All of us are human being, sama jer, darjat ke ape mende are not count okay. Kalau kita baik di mata-Nya, insyaAllah baik di mata seluruh umat.. Tak kira kat mana pun, we are the one who decide nak pilih jalan mana, we did have choice unless we destroy them. Dear teens, jaga ibadat, jaga hubungan dengan Allah dan sesama makhluk.. God bless you =)

“Orang-orang yang beriman, mereka berperang di jalan Allah, dan orang-orang yang kafir berperang di jalan Taghut, maka perangilah kawan-kawan syaitan itu, sesungguhnya tipu daya syaitan itu lemah.”  

[QS an-Nisa’, 4:76] 

 “Dan di antara manusia ada orang yang mengorbankan dirinya untuk mencari keredhaan Allah. Dan Allah Maha Penyantun kepada hamba-hamba-Nya.” 

[QS al-Baqarah, 2:207] 

Bila Hati tak Bersyukur....

ASSALAMUALAIKUM


Aq sdey campur malu plus nak nyorok bawah meja darab nak
hantuk2 kepala kat dinding...
serius aq cakap...


gini cter nyer tdi...
lpas aq balek drpd driving class, aq ke rumah best fren aq, Fadhlin 
xjauh mana dari umah aq... lepak2 rr konon..
kat umah Falin tu aq ada men2 ngan fon aq..
xder laa kan.. reply2 mesej kengkawan..
Falin nyer kawan nmenya Farah pon ade skali..
tibe2 aq t'kuar cakap " xsuker rr fon neh.. function ciput.."
pastu tngah2 borak, fon aq jatuh ke lantai...
aq t'diam... rser cam xsedap hati jer...
Falin ngan Farah cakap dalam nada b'guraw
" tengok! tu rr kate x suke sangat.. kan dah jatuh..."
aq dngan selamba ag xnak admit " biar rr jatuh, bukan bez pon.. hahaha"
dalam hati mser tu.. adrenalin dah cover sumer lapisan badan aq ni..


aq pom balik rr rumah aq lpas tu..
hati cam dup dap dup dap...
seyes aq xthu knapa...
bila aq msok jer bilik aq..
fon aq skali ag jatuh.. dan aq tngok inner screen
fon aq dah pecah...
waaaaaaaaa....
sdey gler... aq panik dah.. memang fon tu dah jadik gtu dah..
fon tu abah aq yang kasi.. aq xnafikan aq ni xcerewet sngat
psal fon ni.. asal bleh col, hntar mesej dah cukup..


bler aq fikir dalam2 kan... aq rser He want to show me something..
semenjak-menjak ni aq t'amat laa lalai..
plus aq amat laa sikit bersyukur..
He prove me that,, when I was making space between me and Him,
He really wants me to come back..
It had been so long since I was lost..
lost on my own path which I thought to be better..
ASTARGHFIRULLAH...


 

aq dah waste bnyak gler mase for something yang did not even worth  it..
aq lupa saper aq.. dan apa yang aq patut buat..
setiap hari aq hdop.. I was blessed by so much rezeki..
tapi aq randomly felt grateful to them..


bila rezeki ditarik.. mula laa rasa susah..
paling teruk, nak blame orang len..
bila Allah s.w.t tarik sket jer rezeki aq..
fon rosak.. aq dah rser t'amat lah susah..
but for things yang aq dah buat silap.. aq deserve dapat
punishment... tapi aq xpenah lupa.. bahawasanya
ALLAH s.w.t itu Maha Penyayang lagi Maha Pengampun..
SUBHANALLAH...


Hidup ni xlamer... kejap jer...aq pon dah 18tahun hidup..
tapi masih b'gelumang ngan dosa2..
penah aq fikir.. :" Adakah aq dah b'sedia nak menemui
Si Pencipta...Adakah cukup amalan2 aq...?"
kita xthu bila kita akan dipanggilkan?? aq harap aq bleh btol2
improve ibadat aq.. ntuk korang sumer..
jadikan cter aq sbg pedoman.. mungkin nampak cam kcil jer
kjadian dan dugaan aq neh.. tapi cuba tnya diri korang balik..
"Adakah aku perlu tunggu ujian yang besar dan perit baru dapat 
membuatkan aq sedar dan insaf??"
NAUZUBILLAH>>





maksud:


ayat 5: Maka sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan
ayat 6: Sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan ada kemudahan


hayatilah... aq mungkin bukan lah seorang yang arif tentang tafsir..
tapi insyaallah ilmu yang aq ada adlh untuk dikongsi..


wallahualam...