Hampir Habes A-level #3: What I don't like about you

Salam

I always said that I like Ky. But I do not like it as in really like. So I don't mind leaving Ky.

In fact, I can't wait.

Why? this probably helps you to understand why.

-because I always alone in chalet during weekends.. (I don't blame my chaletmates because they only lives around Kl, if I were them, I was going to the same.. But not every weeks kot. And people always said that 'you can come to my chalet', but I do not want to feel like an outsider in someone else's chalet. You probably don't feel the same. It was complicated)

-I love hanging outs with friends but certainly not for watching any 'korean' scenes.. I hate it when there were always someones in the tv room watching 'korean channel'. But I respect every person interests. It just me who can't tolerate with 'them'.

So sick.

-I hate carrying heavy bags every time I was going to return to Kelantan. I felt like I can be a man who lifts the heavy loads in the gym. And especially when some of your 'kononnya-kenal-sebab-satu-kolej-male-friends just watched we, the girls, angkat barang-barang ke bonet bas yang tingginya melebihi tinggi kami. Well, it was not their faults but they just don't gain my respect, that's all.

- I hate it when after performing isya' prayers at surau, and on my way back to chalet, the walkways will be full of unbearable scenes of the lovey-doveys. I can't even write down what were the scenes. "May Allah protects me from the syaitonirrojim.." Astargfirullahalazim...

- The internet was so slow. Especially when the college decided to upgrade the speed of the wifi. Good, they became slower.. 

-Lots of the people live in a clan. Assabiyah. They do not welcome intruders. 

Apart from all of that, and my ego that said, I do not like Ky that much, I will definitely miss Ky. Deep down my heart, 'I do not ever want to return here' but, this is where the tarbiyah pulled me. Where I learnt that hedonism is one of the biggest problem that our crowd (ummah) are facing right now. This is where I learnt that to take responsibility seriously. Kalau dulu, ditawarkan masuk ke dalam Muscom, I felt like, 'senang jer ni.', 'takkan yang ni pun orang tak tau' and 'ramai jer orang suka usrah' were all wrong. Masih ramai yang masih belum tahu yet faham. They were so good and excellent with their study but they do not even know how to pray. It shocked me at once. But then I learnt that the environment that we all grew up with were all different. Some people were not so lucky to receive tarbiyah at their early ages. And to think about it, if it was not for my chaletmates frequently 'balik rumah' on weekends, I probably do not frequently went to surau as much as I did. See, Allah always has better plans for you, Syifa.

So, here I learnt, despite all the knowledge that you have, there are always room for improvements. Enough is never enough. And always be modest with all you have and never feel bad to share even it is just a little. In Ky, I met different types of people. And I think, I learnt from everyone of them. Sahabat yang baik give you 'the words you do not want to hear but you need to know them' not just comforting words that make you feel happy again. Friends are more than just 'laugh together' partners. If she is the person who you always talk to when you are depressed and sad, and she always be there for you, she is the real friend. Sometimes, truths can be really harsh but in order for you to change, you must face them.

Therefore, if you asked me about Ky, I would certainly said that it is not a fancy place to live happily. It will give you hard times, culture shock, and boredom. But if you want to learn about life and willing to take the opportunity to change into a better muslim, here is the place. You may cry for the fate 'why am I here' at the present, but later on, you will realize that 'Oh, I learnt this when I was there'.

Thank you Ky for all the momentos.

I will miss you. 

I think I can write a book about you. Trust me.