A Rebel Yell

He said that I would make lots of great friends.
I said never. I am not an amiable kid.

He said that I would love and care so much about the team.

I said not in this world. I hate the team. What they only did were criticizing.

He said that I would have the best senior years.

I said you'd got to be kidding me? Who are going to take care of me when I am a senior?

He said that I would be damn so sad once I had to step out of the place.

I said could there be any joyous moment than that day?

He said you'll be fine.

I said I will never be. I am alone.

Life was unexpected. Those words that came out from the 'I' were totally contradicting from the beginning. Now, this was the 'I' answers.

I made lots of great friends, who were worth more than diamonds. How could I not see them before. They were always right beside me. They were the one who taught me life. They wished me for my happiness. They are the ones that I didn't want to be replaced apart from anything in this world. 

The team. Could there be any team that are better that my team, if were not for them, I wouldn't learn the value of teamwork. There are some of them who shed my tears when I felt like a loser. They heard my stories, they respect my opinions. They accepted me the way I am in the team. The gave me credit for my capabilities.

Senior years. Never in my life I'd imagined that my senior years were so colorful. I still can reminisce the days that I had with all my classmates. We developed the bond, very strong bond, even stronger that the covalent bond in the diamond. We loved each other, so much. Should us be blame for that? 

Leaving the place was the most painful, broken-hearted thing that I ever did in my life. How I love the place, every single spot in the place gave me the flashbacks of the day that I learnt, that I laughed, I cried, I lost faiths in myself. Those were the things that never escaped from my brain-memory. They remained, I wont let them leave.

See? Did you noticed how much I worked hard to survive. The only reason for my pathetic reasons in the beginning were I doubted myself because 'he' got in the way. 'he' was the mist that I could not see the humungous tunnel for me to walk in. It was my fault for involving myself into 'he'. And 'he' was an inexplicable humility. Blame myself for being that weak.

But today and afterwards, I have HIM. Always HIM. HE will never leave me behind. Did I said 'never'? I mean never ever... 

I serve  myself for ISLAM. Don't beg me to give my heart to you. Because HE holds my heart so tight that even I can't help to escape myself from HIM. Alhamdulillah.

Preserve me with your mercy ya ALLAH.

Attach-ment part1

Bismillah...

Signing up as a so-called medical journalist at HUSM for almost one week. And yeah, I will be doing this observant, unpaid job for two weeks. Well, At least I have a proof  for doing a thing, I mean a beneficial thing during this semester break rite? I am absolutely positive that most of the medics student are doing their attachment as well. So, fair enough.

Week 1:

I had being located at the clinical, medication-stuffs ward which are 7 Utara for women, 7 Selatan for men. Nothing much to do, frankly speaking, I just stood and kept my eyes widely opened for the whole day. I even  didn't have a least a kind-enough nurse or a doctor to supervise me around. Well hello! What do I know about something that I didn't even learn'em yet. I need somebody to guide me larhhhhh... Hadoi. So pathetic for an amateur doctor-to-be (InsyaAllah). 

Did I told ya that it sucks for being there all by yourself? Yes, it is.  "And to Meni, if you are reading my blog, plisssssss take note that I am dying, enthusiastically wait-ing for your arrival to join me next week!!" Believe me I really am.. At one time, I called Alysha, asking her how she had been doing at the Institut Jantung Negara (IJN), and from her voice, I am positive that she had so much fun. Well, lucky her to do her attachment with bunch of Ky kids at the same place. Sarah, Aqiliah, Diyana Adibah and Ikhwan  joined her there. Jealous much.

What I'd got so far:
1. A cool-doctor look by wearing a white lab-coat and a freedom of  wandering around the hospital, entering the private-departments without any suspicious glares from the guards knowing that I am not actually a real doctor. HAHAHAHA *evil laugh

2. I read the patients' file  and pretending that I can read those hideous, cakar-ayam handwritings. Pardon for my sincere comment, but not to mention there are few of the docs who have really nice ones. 

3. I kept jotting down all the infos that I am able to jot. Seriously folks, I do not know much but holding a notebook with no use of it, it made your hands cramped. *just a myself-made theory

4. I realised that  one day could be either very long or too short. When we occupied the times with some useful stuffs and activities, oh mannnn  the day are way tooo long. That's what I felt of been whole day long at the hospital. 
5. I got to know humans. We, human beings, are very unique. We had numerous of different characteristics. That's what made we differed from each other and special in our own way.
6. I was amazed with the people who accept their fate of having illnesses. They fought for their lives. Especially the small children. They were so strong. May Allah bless em. 


I would be doing my part2 for this experience. So, I'mma not going any further. 


p/s: 7/12/2011.. My grandmother was rested in peace to meet the Almighty Creator. Al-fatihah. Semoga Allah swt mencucuri rahmat ke atas roh Allayarhamah. Amin, amin, amin.

From a deep,dark ocean

Assalamualaikum.

"Ketika diri mencari sinar, secebis cahaya menerangi laluan, adakalanya langkah ku tersasar, tersungkur di lembah kegelapan..."

Sahih International

And if an evil suggestion comes to you from Satan, then seek refuge in Allah . Indeed, He is Hearing and Knowing.

(7:200)

Daripada Kak Adah yang disayangi,

‎:: iman itu umpama air laut.. naik turunnya spt pasang surut.. ombak itu adalah ujian, menghiasi suatu ciptaan.. indah di mata tapi al-Khaliq lebih mengetahui.. Lantaran itu, ar-Rahman tak menguji melainkan hambaNya akan mampu menghadapinya.. teguhnya pantai mendidik insan y seakan pasir, kdg2 pasir itu akan hanyut bersama, tapi sebaik2 ciptaan Rabbi, ia kan kembali pada pantai.. Allah mentarbiah jiwa hambaNya y selalu leka agar tak jauh dari keagunganNya.. semoga murkaNya tak menghukum leka..::

 Kadang-kadang kita sering leka, alam dunia terlalu indah di mata, sehinggakan ia mengaburkan pandangan kita terhadap keindahan syurga. Jika hari ini kita 18, 19 tahun, siapa sangka jika riwayat kita tamat pada usia 20? Cukupkah segala amalan yang kita kerjakan sepanjang hayat dikandung badan?  Apa alasan kepada Sang Pencipta, jika disoal tentang amalan di dunia?

Sedarlah diri, lakukan pecutan dalam berbuat amalan kebaikan. Amatlah rugi bagi seorang muslim yang hatinya keras untuk memahami Islam.

Matang = Faham Islam.
Siapa yang memahami Islam yang sebenar, kematangannya akan melangkaui mereka yang lebih berusia.

~Hilal Asyraf~

 Saya sedang berusaha menjadi hamba yang 'matang'. Doakan saya. Doakan Islam. ^^

Indeed, my protector is Allah , who has sent down the Book (Al-Quran); and He is an ally to the righteous.

(7:196)

 Jom, menjadi hamba! ^__^

Return to HIM

Memang ada waktu,
kamu akan melihat seperti Allah tidak menghiraukanmu.
engkau kecewa.
Ingin meninggalkanNya.
Seakan-akan engkau merasa, engkau sahajalah yang diperlakukan sedemikian rupa.

Jangan. Aku juga demikian sebenarnya.
Tetapi aku kekal percaya.
Kerna kehidupan ini ada dua.
Kalau bukan di dunia kita memperolehi apa yang kita hajati,
di akhirat sana adalah pasti.

Tuhan tidak kurang apa-apa dengan engkau meninggalkanNya.
Tetapi engkau hilang segala-galanya apabila berjarakan denganNya.
Hamba. Menangislah. Berteriaklah.
Kemudian kembalilah.
Sujudlah.
Sabar,
dan percayalah.

"Ya Allah, ampunilah aku. Bimbinglah aku. Aku hamba-Mu, Engkau penciptaku. Hanya kepada-Mu aku menyembah dan memohon pertolongan...."